Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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