Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
