her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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