i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
