you traded sex for a burrito?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
