She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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