Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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