She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
