Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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