They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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