Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
either way he was missing a nipple.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
