her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm way too hungover for life right now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
