I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
