Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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