I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
