I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize