If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
