I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
