I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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