Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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