He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
