How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
