He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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