Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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