Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
