i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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