yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize