I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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