I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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