that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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