porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
