im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
