Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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