you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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