How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
