it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
