You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
