That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
