you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
