Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
