the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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