I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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