are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize