I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
