we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
