Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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