dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
