I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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