i barfeds in our rink
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
