next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
