i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Your penis caused this!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
