he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My vagina is very pro this idea
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