they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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