Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
