..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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