He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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