3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
