It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize