also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
