we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
