Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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