whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
