I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
