And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
