HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
