dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
