Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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