The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
