We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
